Kids love to run, jump, climb and of course take risks. It’s a big part of their developmental processes and it’s crucial to help find ways to let them engage with it. The more they do this in a healthy way the more resilient they’ll be, the more confident they’ll be and the more memorable and rich their childhood memories will be.

As a family it’s about more than just letting kids “run wild”. Of course there’s a place for that as well, but what’s most powerful is finding communities, events and places where this process is guided and celebrated.

Obstacle races like the Spartan Kids Race is the perfect place for a family to find all of this, to take their kids out and wrestle with adversity together. You’ll find that this isn’t just a way to help your young people grow, but you’ll get to know them better and see their growth happening before your eyes.

Of course there’s natural risk taking, which is important. Letting your kids play at the playground and take risks, or be in the backyard or running around the school grounds out of your sight. This gives them critical time to test their theories, to encounter and navigate fear, anxiety, uncertainty and develop the strategies to manage them. It also builds trust among the family, as young people know that they’re trusted to challenge themselves, but also that there will be someone there if they need it.

The step above this is our passion at Risky Kids. Where you take that developmental process and guide and shape it to achieve its greatest potential. You explore thoughts and feelings around risk taking and the emotional experience and how to navigate it. You craft and shape the challenges, both physical and emotional, that young people face and guide them through them. You deliver adversity in measures that require growth to push through, and give support at a level that’s just enough for them to succeed, but for it to be their success.

This is what facilitated risk is, and why it’s so powerful. Events like a Kids Spartan Race is one of the best ways. The obstacles are designed for kids, young people can push themselves as hard as they like, and families can help to guide them through the event. They’ll face failure, triumph, success and heaps of great emotions. Most of all it’ll be something that they’ll remember for years to come, and shape them for the better.

Kids will often be excited and eager at the start, perhaps even a little anxious when you talk about getting booked in for the race. This is all normal! Kids see themselves conquering the course, emerging victorious and there isn’t a lot of fear because it’s in the future.

As the event gets closer, you’ll find that they start to get more nervous. This is a typical fear response, as the event gets closer in terms of both time and proximity, the chances of “avoidance” behaviour increases. This is normal, and what we want to do is help increase the chances of “approach” behaviours, like being excited over fearful.

You can do this by exploring three important things: Foreknowledge, Preparing, Reframing.

• FOREKNOWLEDGE – Simply talk to your young person about what the event is going to be like, visit the website and watch clips of kids at the race. This foreshadowing process means that their imagination can’t run wild with impossible obstacles or being injured!
• PREPARING – The next part is to prepare! Get out and work on monkey bar skills, climbing over things, running, balancing and jumping. Preparation helps to diminish fear, and increase confidence, as well as being fun and healthy! Set 20 minutes of Spartan Training every night in the backyard, at school after classes, wherever!
• REFRAMING – Talk to your young person about what might be concerning, or exciting them! Reframe any unhealthy thinking, for example they might be afraid of failing and obstacle. Ask them why they’re afraid, and they might say they’ll be embarrassed. Reframe this to focus on how lots of people will be falling, and that trying is the most important thing. Create a plan for what to do if they do fail something, such as trying again, and this will make them feel prepared to face those moments.

The day itself is going to be a big one! Lots of strangers, new obstacles if you’re a new Spartan fam, and heaps of exciting things in the festival area. This is going to create a lot of excitement and nerves. Take time to walk around and check everything out! Go check out the obstacles and start planning with your young people how they’ll overcome them. Go check out the finish line and see the medals and shirts and they’ll earn. Go talk to another family that’s just finished and ask their kids about the race!

Of course don’t forget to talk to your mini-Spartan about how they’re feeling. Do some check ins with them and make sure they’ve got everything they need! Even though young bodies don’t really need it, doing a fun warm up with some games like tag, or some cartwheels will get their brains ready and help them to feel more prepared to race and bring down anxiety.

If your mini-Spartan is feeling uneasy or anxious, make sure to use the foreknowledge, preparation and reframing tools from earlier. Even if you’re standing in the festival area, you can whip out your phone and look up some clips of how to do obstacles, discuss what to do if we fail.

At Risky Kids one of our most powerful tools is our Negotiation process. This is how we help a young person to dig through fear and reframe it to help them move forward. Below is a super-quick crash course to use on the day!

• Step 1 – Validate: Let them know the way their feeling is normal, and even healthy! Fear helps our brain pay attention, and powers up our body for action. Make sure they don’t feel alone and let them know even though they might not be able to see other kids who are nervous, they’re there!
• DON’T: Don’t say “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to”, trust us! This triggers deep avoidance behaviour and will make guiding your young person almost impossible after you say it.
• Step 2 – Listen: Ask them how they’re feeling, and what they’re worried about. Ask clarifying questions. If they say they’re afraid of getting hurt, ask how they think they’ll get hurt. If they say they’re scared, ask them what they’re scared about.
• DON’T: You should avoid asking questions focusing on the obstacles or the race itself. Instead focus on the feelings that are happening.
• Step 3 – Guide: Take what you’ve learned, and guide your Risky Kid! Reframe their fears, talk about how proud they’ll be when they finish and how important it is to face challenges. Let them know you’ll be there to help, and that they can take each obstacle one at a time and plan together how to get through it.

Make sure to refer back to all of the preparation and talks you had before the race!

Of course there’s the flip side as well! Sometimes you’ll turn up to an event and your min-Spartan will be resilient and ready to go. This isn’t a time to kick back and pat yourself on the back because you’re such a great parent (even though you all are), this is what facilitate risk is about! You’ve got to find a way to add that adversity for your young person.

Obstacles like a Spartan Race are only as difficult as you make them. Going faster, entering competitive waves, beating obstacles that you failed at last time, setting sights on adult races and age category or even elite placement and then heading off to race across the globe! If you find your Risky Kid saying “it’s easy” or “I’m bored” then you want to jump in with both feet!

At Risky Kids we have a Mindset, “It’s Not Easy, You’re Good” where we reflect on all of the effort, training and diligence that led to something feeling easy. To affirm all of that effort encourages it, and builds self confidence. Then the next step is to go from “good” to “amazing”. Work with your mini-Spartan on ways to bust through their “ok-plateaus”. There’s so many ways to do this, check out our article on why busting through plateaus are so important!