Better Patience when Parenting: The Basics
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Focus
Guiding young people means we’re going to encounter obstacles daily if we want them to grow. This is going to require a lot of patience!
Summary
As we learn to embrace risk and challenge with our Risky Kids, we need to be ready for them to have big emotions and for that to challenge us in return! Patience can be your biggest ally.
- Have real expectations for yourself and your Risky Kid around how quickly things can change,
- Practise remembering what it was like to be a young person with limited control where everything is a challenge!
- Learn to listen to your Risky Kids’ needs and encourage them to communicate often.
Set Realistic Expectations
- See parenting as a long term commitment.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and your Risky Kid,
- Practice appreciating Risky Kids’ individual skills,
Parenting is a long-term commitment, and it’s essential to set realistic expectations for yourself and your Risky Kids. Remember that young kids develop at their own pace and may not always meet our expectations. Adjusting our expectations can reduce frustration and increase patience.
Recognize that each Risky Kid has their own unique personality and development pace. Understand that your Risky Kid may excel in certain areas while struggling in others. Setting realistic expectations based on their individual capabilities is key in promoting patience.
Practice Empathy and Understanding
It’s always easier said than done, and also sometimes feels too obvious to bother practising understanding. But as we say at Risky Kids Practice Makes Possible!
- See things from your Risky Kid’s perspective as often as you can,
- Remember they’re young people and may not have ever encountered a situation you’ve faced many times,
- Provide reassurance, even if you need to provide consequences,
Cultivate empathy and try to see situations from your child’s perspective. Remember that they are learning and developing, and their behaviour may be driven by emotions or a lack of understanding.
Taking a compassionate approach can help you respond with patience and guide your child through challenging moments.
- Reflect on your own experiences as a child and remember how it felt when you were struggling or misunderstood.
- Instead of reacting with frustration, validate their feelings and provide reassurance.
Learn your Risky Kids' motivations
By understanding your Risky Kids motivations and needs, it’ll help you appreciate and understand their behaviour. The more we understand each other the easier it is to have patience.
- Behaviours are always tied to needs, even when we’re young,
- Be proactive and ask your Risky Kid about their needs regularly, not when they’re acting out,
- More understanding means more patience,
Even when very young, behaviour is always tied to either trying to get something, or trying to get away from something! It could be that someone needs to feel socially connected and so acts out to get attention because this is what’s worked. Or maybe they’re just hungry!
Practice asking your Risky Kid how they’re feeling, encouraging them to be aware of their needs and to communicate them to you. This doesn’t mean you have to always jump to meet those needs, but encourage sharing them and discussing them.
This will make your Risky Kids feel heard, it will help you to understand where their behaviour is coming from, even the disruptive kind, and this will all add up to helping you intuitively operate with more patience.
In Conclusion
Remember, these examples are adaptable to your Risky Kid’s age, development, and specific circumstances. The key is to tailor your approach to young people’s needs and maintain a positive and supportive environment.
Build a community around them that does the same, intentionally seek out
How to Join Us
What matters to us most, is our communities. By joining one of our Risky Kids clubs you’re not just improving your families’ health, but the health of your community.
By taking a risk you inspire others to believe that challenge and adversity are healthy, for young people and for families.
- Inquire with our clubs online,
- Check out our website,
- Visit your local club,
Richard Williams
Risky Kids Founder, Director of Programming
Richard Williams is a fitness industry consultant, gym owner, business coach and professional stunt actor with more than a decade of experience in the health and fitness industry. With an education in psychology and criminology, Richard blended life experience as a fitness industry consultant with Spartan Race, gym owner, elite-obstacle racer, ultra-runner and professional stunt actor to create the Risky Kids program.
Richard has a passion for enacting meaningful social change through all avenues of health and wellbeing and believes that obstacles are the way. Some of Richard’s key achievements include:
- Key consultant/coordinator Spartan Race/Tough Mudder/Extreme Endurance
(Australia/NZ/Global) - OCR World Championship Finalist – Team & Solo (2015)
- OCR World Championship Silver Medallist – Team Endurance (2018)
- Professional film and television stunt performer for 15 years
Considered one of Australia’s foremost experts in the fields of fitness, wellbeing and behavioural science, Richard is frequently in demand as a guest speaker for relevant government and non-
government bodies and organisations. Speaking engagements centred on the success of the Risky Kids program, philosophy and approach have included:
- Expert speaker/panellist Sports & Camp; Recreation Victoria and Outdoors Victoria forums
- Closing expert speaker at the Australian Camps Association National Conference
- Expert speaker at the National Fitness Expo, FILEX
